Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Failure and ReStarts

Sometimes I feel like a failure. I don't know if it's being a girl or being a girl in a man's world or being an engineer, or because I am dumb. Somehow I survived Rolla. Like just barely. And I failed at my first job (since I lost it..) so wow. Not looking good. And this last job? While I was my boss' right hand woman, he still said some things that put a lot of doubt in my mind as I left. And it's hard to shake.

I haven't had a great October. So much change, a lot of doubt. I am very happy that it's almost over. It has been quite a year too. I'm excited that most of it is over. November is going to be great!

I've already made changes to my diet and fitness this week. Back on track! I'm also tracking my calories burned with my body bugg. It turns out I am a very lazy bum. Even more so since I work at home now. I barely break 2,000 calories and 3,000 steps. Yesterday, with a 45 minute workout, I still only burned 2,200 calories during the day with 4,900 steps. (2,400 steps during my workout.) Luckily because of the stomach bug I had yesterday, I probably only consumed 1,000 calories. I didn't track dinner and need to do that now -- ok, 1,154 calories. Not really how I want to lose weight though.

There are a lot of apps for smart phones and weight and food tracking. The one I like the most is Spark's. They have a LOT of variety of food in there. I downloaded a new one yesterday called "Noom" that is just awful. The worst part about is the food... they don't have any choices. I like the other features of the app, the reminder to log your food, the mini articles they make you read. But I feel the most important part of weight loss is food tracking. And if you can't track the actual calories of the apple juice you drank or soup you had, it's not going to help you in the long run.

I keep saying that I'm going to get back on the Jay Robb diet. It's a clean diet that has no processed anything. Pretty much you eliminate all bad carbs and processed food from your diet. It's tough, but it works. It includes eliminating caffeine. Which is hard, but once you eliminate the bad crap you eat, you actually don't need the power of caffeine to stay awake. But the bad crap taste so good.

I found that I ate more healthy when I purchased the food co-op bulk fruits and veggies, so I'm going to make sure I'm back on track with those bi-weekly purchases. I did delay a few weeks during travel, but no excuses now.

I'm going to try and up my PT sessions with Dave to 3 times a week. I went last night, and am going tonight. Back-to-back sessions might help me the most too. I'll be in charge of my own exercise these next few days.  I need to break out the DVDs and hop on the treadmill! What do I have to lose? Just weight. =)

1 comment:

Unknown said...

There will always be a way to see yourself as a failure in life. Your opinion of yourself is the one that matters most and you are 100% in control of what you think!

Losing a job doesn't mean you failed. I think it's just like dieting, that first job was like the holidays ruining a diet. It happens and then you pick up, get back on the diet and lose the weight you gained over the holidays - and you did the same thing with the your career. The times we fall in life aren't important but rather it's how we get back up.

I think you're a textbook case of how to get back up. You found another job, moved half way across the country again and proved that you could stabilize your life and conquer any challenges thrown at you.

You should flying high as a kite right now, you chose to leave this last job and get something better - and you did! Take a step back and plot your career on a graph. It wasn't a steep incline and there were some lows, but you're in a better place than you were last month, year, 5 years ago. There are tons of people that can't say that.

Cheer up Megs! There are more people than you know that are looking up to you and wishing their career/life/diet would be going as well as yours!

Happy Early Halloween! Miss you, can't wait to see you @ Christmas!!