Thursday, August 22, 2013

Why I don't want Waiting Room Warriors

WARNING! DANGER!!
This post is VERY blunt, can be disgusting, and is a major rant as I gear up for the biggest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life.
 
In reading the Babycenter birth boards, I've learned a few important things. I had them listed but well, in the end they aren't important because this thread is going to concentrate on one thing.

I wrote this a few days ago and think I finally got the point across. However, I like what I wrote and maybe someone else googling "Waiting Room Warriors" will find it helpful.

No Waiting Room Warriors
 
This is what it's coming down to. I don't want people in the waiting room. And while some people are very excited about my new child, in my opinion, I feel like they can't seem to grasp that until the child is actually out of my vagina, this is 110% of me and a major major major medical procedure. And it's scary! Sure, women do it everyday.But I've never done it. Sure, a woman's body is meant to do this. But my body never has. I can do a lot of things that a human is meant to do - ride a bicycle, do a cart wheel, drive a car, run -- but it all took a little training and practice. And I don't have any practice in "giving birth."

Here's a short thread about it and why WRW are a bad idea. And if you have tons of time, here are the two largest thread about horrid delivery stories! Best of Delivery Room Thread 1 and Best of Delivery Room Thread 2. There are some horror stories about parents walking in at the end when their daughter is still a bloody mess and being stitched up. I'm sorry, you can't see that. Because you can *never* *ever* un-see that. Ever.  

My mom had the audacity to suggest that Jason call her when I start to push. Um, excuse me? If I am in the middle of pushing and he pulls out his phone, he will need his own medical procedure and his phone will forever be nicknamed iPenis. And I won't let him get a new one.


The birth suite at the hospital.
And if the waiting room warriors do manage to wait until the baby is born, Jason and I get two hours of bonding time with our little guy. So after what could be an hour of waiting to 15 hours of waiting to a possible emergency c-section, there's still another 2-hour wait. Less we forget that if I just spent 15-20 hours awake I will be a cranky bitch who needs a nap. What if the little guy comes at 2am? And let's go back to that cranky bitch who needs a nap and food. She's always a pleasant one to deal with.

So the plan - we will call once the little guy is here. That gives me and Jason our bonding time and me time to get a nap and get cleaned up. Then we'll stagger visitors (hopefully not a lot) throughout our super short stay at the hospital.
 
I have 2 amazing friends lined up to help with Monday. I trust them both - they might tell their spouses, but it won't be facebooked that I'm headed to the hospital. I also have an amazing dog boarder at Baxter's. Tony said he'd do whatever he could to help.
 
Next rant? It'll probably be about my facebook privacy.
 

1 comment:

kerwin said...

I hope this works out as you planned. My family is so far up in my business that they were not waiting room warriors, they were 'stand outside the door' warriors. Things didn't go quite to plan when A was born and she ended up having to go to the NICU and it was not ideal having to calm everyone else's nerves while we were still freaking out. I think we will implement a "we'll call you" policy for just about everyone, except my sisters who are on leg holding duty. I can't believe you are so close!!!!